Ultimate Guide to Prostate Toys
Although all sex toys are beginning to explode in popularity, one of the most exciting varieties that’s starting to make a breakthrough is prostate toys. This is excellent news as they offer a whole host of new experience and benefits to your sex life.
Benefit of Prostate Toys
A New Form of Pleasure
The first benefit of prostate toys is that they simply provide a new and different way for you to experience pleasure. Massaging your prostate, or ‘P-spot’, gives you an entirely new method of stimulation. This could be with a partner which allows you to spice things up and take them to another level. Prostate play with a partner also adds another layer of intimacy. Your partner will enjoy the fact that she can please you in another way. It also potentially opens the door to role-reversal –another way for you shake things up in the bedroom. All in all, you’ll both be learning and experiencing something new together.
Alternatively, you could enjoy prostate play when you’re on your own. You can take full advantage of another way of pleasuring yourself. In short, when it comes down to it, you’re essentially doubling your body’s capacity to experience sexual pleasure. In the same way that women can have both clitoral and vaginal orgasms, embracing prostate play offers you two ways to reach climax.
Also, as well as giving you a second way to enjoy orgasms, they also make your other orgasm better. Playing with your prostate while stimulating your penis can make your orgasms longer and more intense. Again, it’s similar to the feeling of stimulating a woman’s clitoris while penetrating their vagina. It makes something that’s already great – even better.
Stigma Surrounding Anal Play
Now, before I begin, I acknowledge that diving into prostate play isn’t so straightforward. For a lot of men, especially heterosexual men, making use of the growing range of anal toys can be intimidating. This is because there’s a stigma surrounding experiencing pleasure from the prostate, as that’s the domain of homosexual men.
Fortunately, as proven by the increasing popularity of prostate toys, things are starting to change. Alongside many other ‘taboos’ in society, prostate play, such as pegging, is being discussed more often. More men are now willing to discuss their prostate experience.
If you’re currently engaged in prostate play and feel some sort of shame about it – don’t! Similarly, if you’re considering experimenting with prostate play, go for it! If, for example, you’ve ever had a partner slip a finger or tongue up or around your butt during sex – and liked it – you may want to explore that further by using a prostate toy. Hey, life is too short and you deserve to experience pleasure in whatever way you can!
This guide offers an introduction into the world of prostate play. It also explores the range of prostate toys on offer. You’ll learn how to get started with prostate stimulation and how to massage your prostate. Finally, you’ll learn how to take things up a notch with one of the many available prostate toys.
How Do Prostate Toys Work?
Here, I’m going to briefly delve into what and where the prostate is, how to stimulate it, and how prostate toys will help you unlock unkown pleasure.
The ‘P-Spot’ and Prostate Pleasure
Prostate toys work by gently applying pressure to your prostate, or ‘P-spot’, which results in pleasurable stimulation. This is small, ‘walnut-sized’ organ that’s found at the front of the rectum, right between your bladder and penis. The main function of the prostate is to produce and secrete seminal fluid. This prostatic is used to feed, protect, and transport your sperm. It’s important to note you won’t be directly touching the prostate, as it’s behind a wall of tissue that separates it from the anal canal.
Prostate stimulation is achieved from a technique known as prostate massage. This is exactly as it sounds: gently rubbing and applying varying amounts of pressure to the prostate, over a prolonged period – typically 20 – 30 minutes. This simplest way to achieve this would be with a finger but, as we’ll be exploring in this article, greater and more varied pleasure can be gained from a variety of prostate toys. Toys, which have been specially designed with comfort and stimulation in mind.
Perhaps best of all, as well as being pleasurable, prostate massage, which is also referred to as ‘milking the prostate’ is shown to have health benefits. The most important is the role it plays in preventing prostate cancer, but it’s also been shown to improve urine flow and the ability to achieve and maintain stronger erections.
What is a Prostate Orgasm?
A prostate orgasm is the pleasurable end result of stimulating your prostate until you reach climax. It’s important for me to make a clear distinction between prostate stimulation and prostate orgasm because there’s a difference. It’s also highly important that it can take a while to achieve a prostate orgasm, especially when you’re first starting out.
This is because it can take time to get used to the stimulation, not to mention, having something, be it a finger or prostate toy, inserted into your anus when you’re not used to it. Learning to relax takes time and being relaxed is an important part of reaching orgasm. On the other hand, you can experience pleasure from gently massaging the prostate almost straight away.
Now, although they feel amazing, prostate orgasms are not as intense as orgasm through your penis. For starters, prostate orgasms are more spread out, involving your entire whole body. They also last longer, lasting anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes, with a lingering after-sensation that can be felt up to 20 or more minutes later. For this reason, prostate orgasms are often described as being ‘deeper’.
Different Types of Prostate Toys
Right, now after covering the fundamentals of prostate massage, it’s time for a quick overview of the types of prostate toys that are available:
Massagers are the most common type of prostate toy. They offer the most variety, with a number of reputable brands manufacturing an impressive range of toys. These are also the toys best suited for beginners.
Generally, prostate massagers can be separated into two categories: Models with ‘handles’ and hands-free toys. Massagers with handles give greater control over their positioning and depth, making them ideal for beginners. What’s more, some handles are designed in such a way to actually enhance the experience. For instance, some feature small, small balls, or ‘tabs’ which gently massage your perineum (that sacred area between your testicles and anus – also known as a taint or gooch) while your prostate is being massaged, providing a little extra pleasure.
Hands-free prostate massagers, meanwhile, are designed to stay inside your rectum when inserted, without having to be manually moved. All you’re required to do is carefully contract, or tense and release, the muscles in your rectum.
You’ll also find that a lot of prostate massagers are what are describes as ‘helix-shaped’. This takes the shape of the anal canal into consideration and allows the toy to better target the prostate.
Aneros is one of the original and leading manufacturers of prostate massagers. They even have their own special range, Syn, which is ideal for beginners to the practice. Other popular prostate massager manufacturers include Lovense, Lelo, Njoy, and Nexus.
Vibrating Prostate Toy
Some toys have the ability to vibrate, with the constant movement providing your prostate with additional, consistent stimulation. These tend to be higher-end, more expensive models, though there’s a handful available at low prices. Aside from the extra sensations toys of this kind provide, you also don’t have to worry as much about contracting your rectum to massage your prostate. Instead, the vibration takes care of a lot of this for you.
Plus, many of vibrating toys are remote controlled, so you can seamlessly vary your experience without touching the toy.
Prostate Strap-ons for Men
A strap-on prostate massager, or simply, a ‘strap-on’ is probably the type that first comes to mind when it comes to prostate stimulation. This type of prostate toy is worn by your partner who, as a result, has control over it and the amount of stimulation you receive. For this reason, using this type of toy requires a certain amount of comfort and experience with prostate massage.
However, when you reach the point where this is a viable option, prostate strap-ons can be a lot of fun and are ideal for role-playing – especially gender-reversal.
Also, it’s important to keep in mind that, with toys of this kind, it’s important for the strap to be good quality, as well as the prostate massager itself.
Prostate Massagers with Cock Ring
Some models of massager also have a cock ring attached, which fits snugly around your penis while you enjoy some prostate stimulation. Cock rings slow the blood flow in your penis which results in bigger, stronger, longer-lasting erections. So, not only will you enjoy a more intense orgasm thanks to your prostate massager, but the cock ring will also contribute to your eventual, explosive climax. You get the best of both worlds.
Prostate dildos are different from most other dildos as they are specially curved to stimulate the prostate, just like other massagers. The main exceptions to this are G-spot dildos, which have a large curved head capable of hitting the P-spot in the same way.
Additionally, some sex toys are dual purpose, with one end carefully designed to stimulate the prostate while the other hits the G-spot.
Are Prostate Toys Safe?
Although, it might initially feel uncomfortable, using a prostate toy is safe – as long as you stick to three principles:
The first is to use the toy slowly and carefully, especially when entering the rectum. The second is to only apply as much pressure to your prostate as feels comfortable, with you being able to increase it as you become more used to the feeling. Thirdly, get yourself some good lube to ease the passage of your prostate toy.
Follow these three simple guidelines and you’ll find prostate toys as safe as you find them pleasurable.
How to Use Prostate Toys
In this section, you’ll learn the ins and outs of using prostate toys:
How to Begin Prostate Play with Toys
The first thing to do when starting prostate play with a toy is to give your anus a good, thorough clean. Not only will this make inserting the toy easier but, naturally, it makes for a far more pleasant, hygienic experience. It goes without saying that this is especially important if you’re engaging in prostate play with a partner. The best way to do with this is with a quick shower, paying extra attention to your rectum. If you have a handheld shower head which you can move around, even better. As you can direct it at your rectum, it’s easier to give it a thorough wash. Also, if you use soap or body wash, which I advise, make sure you wash it all out properly. You don’t want to leave any residue behind for when you use the toy.
The next step is to locate the prostate, particularly if you’re new to the experience. An effective way to do this is to gently masturbate. Because being aroused makes the prostate swell, arousal makes it easier to find. It’s important to not get carried away though. Your penis is only the supporting act in this case, not the star of the show!
How to Insert a Prostate Toy
Now, you’re ready to insert your prostate toy of choice. The first thing to do is get as comfortable as possible. To do so, lie on your bed, with your legs raised slightly. This will give you the best access to your anal canal. A good way to do this is to bend your legs at the knee, so your feet are flat on your bed, before placing a pillow underneath them.
Next, it’s time to apply a little lube. Now, as some prostate toys are made from silicone, or have a silicone coating, it’s best to use a water-based lubricant – which allows you to cover all bases. Apply a generous amount to your toy, as well as a little to your rectum itself.
It’s now time to insert the toy, which should be done slowly and gently. Perhaps you won’t feel entirely comfortable inserting it to a sufficient depth – that’s ok. In such case, go as far as you can and gently move your toy around your rectum. At the very least, this will make a little more familiar with both the toy and the idea of inserting it, which gives you a place to work from the next time around.
However, if you have managed to insert it, start moving it around your anal cavity until you’ve identified your prostate. Start to rub your prostate with the toy, gently massaging it and being aware of how it feels. When you start to feel more comfortable or, better yet, find you’re enjoying it, experiment with applying different levels of pressure.
Again, try and be as relaxed as possible, slowly breathing in and out in a controlled way. Not only will this all you to reduce the tension in your body but you’ll be able to pay better attention to what’s going on inside your body and how the prostate massage is making you feel.
How Do Prostate Toys Feel?
Once you become more comfortable or accustomed to the feeling of inserting a prostate toy, the main sensation you’ll experience is increasingly pleasant and pleasurable. As noted above, the feeling isn’t as intense or focused as stimulating your penis during masturbation.
However, on the subject of your penis, don’t be surprised if you feel arousal in that area too. Massaging your prostate results in a dull, or perhaps you could say subtle, pleasurable sensation in your groin area, including your lower stomach and upper thighs. As you continue to gently massage your prostate, this feeling starts to spread around your body.
Another accurate description of using a prostate toy is that it creates a feeling of ‘fullness’. Some have also described it as being like the feeling you get at the beginning of an orgasm, just before it explodes in intensity. Only it’s prolonged.
Lastly, massaging your prostate can feel often feel like you need to urinate, but this is completely normal. What’s more, your penis may secrete a little liquid but this isn’t urine, its actually seminal fluid (remember that the prostate is responsible for its production).
How to Get a Prostate Orgasm Using Toys
There are three keys to achieving a prostate orgasm: Being relaxed, being persistent and being patient.
Prostate Toys Orgam Tip #1: Be Relax
Being relaxed is important as it’s a key part of being able to insert the prostate toy in the first place. You also need to be comfortable in order to effectively contract and release the muscles in your rectum. Furthermore, if you’re relaxed, you’re in a far better position to take note of the sensations in your body. You’ll be better able to appreciate what feels good, what makes you feel arousal, and what you should continue to do in order to build on that feeling to reach a prostate orgasm.
Prostate Toys Orgam Tip #2: Be Persistent
Persistence is important when it comes to reaching orgasm through prostate massage. Again, simply inserting a toy and locating your prostate takes a little time, so it’s important to try again if you’re unable to do either of those things the first time around. From there, more importantly, you need to constantly, and gently, massage your prostate for anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes. This can seem like a long time, especially if you’re accustomed to being able to achieve an orgasm from your penis within a few minutes, if you so choose. However, sadly, there are no ‘quickies’ when it comes to prostate orgasms. You can massage your prostate to make a quick masturbation session better but having an orgasm from it takes a little time.
Prostate Toys Orgam Tip #3: Be Patient
Which brings me to the last thing you need for a prostate orgasm: patience. I know, it can be a little frustrating to have to massage your prostate for 20 or so minutes, especially when you’ve never achieved orgasm and don’t know what the end result will be or if it will be worth it. However, I assure you that the feeling and the extra choices it offers your sex life are worth it – so be sure to carry on!
Also, to that point – fight the temptation to play with your penis too much. Massaging your prostate will make your penis feel good so in the process of slowly stimulating your P-spot, you may feel tempted to masturbate to have an orgasm sooner rather than later. The problem is, after you’ve climaxed, you’ll most probably lose the motivation to carry on with your prostate. So, despite how good it feels, concentrate on your prostate, especially if you’ve yet to experience an orgasm from it. You can play with your penis some other time…
How to Clean a Prostate Toy
You’ll find that the best way to clean a prostate toy is something that’s frequently debated online, with different people offering a range of different opinions, based on their experiences.
In my opinion, the safest and most foolproof way to clean your prostate toy, regardless of which model it is, is with a tailor-made, sex toy cleaner. These cleaners are made by the manufacturers or retailers of sex toys, who are most familiar with the material involved in their production and what it takes to clean them while making sure they last as long as possible.
Though many, if not most, users simply recommend soap, or handwash, and warm water, this isn’t a good idea for all toys. This is because some prostate toys are porous, meaning they have lots of little holes that will soak up some of the soap. This could be bad news the next time you use your prostate toy, as the soap could now be released into your rectum, which could be…..painful.
Some also recommend isopropyl alcohol (which, on a similar note, is how we recommend cleaning a Fleshlight in our How to Clean a Fleshlight Guide), but others say it can be a little harsh and could have an adverse effect on your rectum when you next use it.
So, all in all, using a specialized sex toy cleaner is your best bet.
Now, when it comes to actually cleaning your prostate toy, start by rinsing it with warm-to-hot water (hot but not boiling, you should be able to keep your fingers under the tap). From there, generously apply the cleaner to the toy and gently rub it in with your fingers. Lastly, rinse off the cleaner with cold water and place your toy somewhere cool where it can dry.
Also, if you happen to have a prostate toy with any electrical components, like a vibrating model, you need to be careful when washing it. Avoid holding it under a tap and, instead, use a soft face towel or cloth to gently apply the water and scrub it clean.
To Sum Things Up
So, in closing, prostate toys are a fantastic way to enhance your sexual experiences, whether by yourself or with a partner. It may take a reviewing a few of your ideas about sex, as well as little courage – but I assure you, it’s more than worth it.
Just remember to be gentle, particularly when you’re just starting out and the sensation is new. Also, accept that it may take a little getting used to. Now, I don’t know about you, but I didn’t like the taste of coffee, olives, or, crucially, beer, when I first tried it. But just like those things added tons of value to my life once I become accustomed to them, using prostate toys will add a new dimension to your sex life.